Last Sunday night was a lovely evening, big thanks to all
who came and to those who performed, Howard and Clack, Murray Torkildsen,
Attila. Also to Rosa Goodwin Drewett, Simon Lomond and Sarah Ross for joining
me on stage for my set.
A big thank you also needs to be said for the Square One
Partnership for making the Square available to hold this event, Chris Fallon
for doing the sound and to all the staff who were so helpful throughout the
evening.
For my wife Clare, I thank for loving me and helping me
to hold myself together in these difficult times, and I needed help, it has
been such a strain.
It was a very moving night and I managed to be moved
without actually breaking down, which I have been prone to do at the drop of a
hat recently.
Personally, Colin was very special to me and all I wanted
to do since his last hours and the time after his death, was to make sure that
I gave him the goodbye that he deserved. In the process, we all got to be
involved in that goodbye, and during that time, I have experienced the greatest
side of Social Media because it enabled me to reach out to so many people who's
lives have been touched by him, and the love and the support that came back has
been phenomenal.
But, there is another, more personal and more private
mourning going on behind this, my thoughts are now with Colin's family, his
former partner Sylvie and also Val, who spent so many years together with him,
revelling in their common interests, and later looked after him in his ill
health.
The non public side of Colin will be cherished in a
different, more quiet way. We have celebrated his public rock 'n' roll life in
music and images and seen how far and how loved the man as a musician is
regarded.
But away from the limelight, his character, his love and
regard for people, was every bit as important as the mark he made in music.
There was a lot of his life I had no part in, so I cannot help illuminate that
in which I did not share. I just did the bit I knew, I hope it didn't over
shadow the man behind the rock star.
Now I have to let him go, no more tributes, no more rock
gigs in his name, nothing left to make me feel that I am stopping him from
sliding into the abyss.
But, I have seen lives transformed by this man and I know
that if I say that 'he lives on in our hearts', it is not a trite meaningless
response to loss, because I feel it, I know it is real, we all do. And when you
realise this fact, you begin to see the man, still alive, still with us, still
vital.
And in that, is a true comfort and a revelation that can
only come when words gain true meaning.
I have learnt so much from these past couple of weeks and
one of the things I learnt, is that, quietly and in his own way,
He changed my life,
forever,
I was transformed.
Thank you Colin, what a gift you gave me!
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